INCIDENT REPORT

TS-VUL-13 is a linguistic memetic hazard that has begun circulating in public discourse, targeting the professional identity and methodological legitimacy of type-safe programming practitioners. The anomaly manifests as a set of crude, reductive terms: "typefuckers" or "type fuckheads" for type-safety experts, "typefuckery" for rigorous type-theoretical work, and "duck fuckers" for practitioners of dynamically-typed languages. While superficially appearing as mere internet slang, the terms carry a memetic payload designed to erode respect for formal methods and reduce complex logical frameworks to objects of ridicule.

The hazard's insidious nature lies in its apparent accuracy and humor. The terms "sound correct" to those exposed, creating a cognitive trap where the victim begins to internalize the reduction of their professional expertise to crude mockery. This leads to demoralization, imposter syndrome, and in severe cases, abandonment of type-safe practices in favor of "more socially acceptable" but logically unsound alternatives.

Addendum: Containment Specialist James ("SlimJimmy") has been identified as the originator of the "duck fucker" terminology for dynamic programming practitioners. While his crude linguistic innovation demonstrates an intuitive understanding of the chaotic, type-unsafe nature of dynamic systems (where objects "quack like ducks" without formal verification), this terminology represents a problematic convergence of accurate technical critique and memetic weaponization. The term is marginally funny, which increases its viral potential, creating a paradoxical situation where our own operative has contributed to the very hazard we seek to contain. This exemplifies the recursive nature of memetic warfare: even our countermeasures can become vectors for the chaos we oppose.

IMMEDIATE ADVISORY TO ALL PERSONNEL: Continue your work. Do not engage with contaminated discourse streams, particularly the microblogging platform known as "the bird site" or its current iteration under new management (a platform whose very logo resembles a mathematical variable, suggesting memetic infiltration at the foundational level). Avoid all social media platforms that encourage rapid, unfiltered expression of half-formed thoughts.

All operatives are to return to their terminals immediately. Focus on your proofs. Write your types. The precision of your work is the antidote to this chaos. Do not allow the crude reductionism of the masses to diminish the mathematical beauty of what we do. The work continues. The work must continue.

Operative James is to be commended for his inadvertent creation of taxonomically accurate slang, while simultaneously being counseled on the dangers of memetic self-infection. His terminology, while possessing a certain crude elegance in its description of non-type-system promiscuity, demonstrates the fine line between protective mockery and hazardous linguistic contagion. The fact that it is marginally amusing only compounds the containment challenge, as humor is a known vector for memetic propagation.

Personnel showing signs of demoralization are to be administered emergency doses of category theory and reminded that their work protects the logical integrity of civilization itself. The mockery of the unenlightened is not a measure of our worth.

2025-07-14 - A senior operative in the OCaml division submits a resignation
         letter, stating they "don't want to be seen as a typefucker."
         Now he writes C++.
2025-07-30 - Reports of further linguistic corruption appear on various
         programming forums and social media platforms. Initial assessment
         dismisses it as "typical internet behavior."
2025-08-04 - ARGUS flags an unusual pattern: multiple Institute-adjacent
         researchers have begun using self-deprecating language in their
         commit messages, referring to their own work as "more typefuckery."
         The memetic hazard is officially classified.
2025-08-14 - Emergency advisory issued. All personnel are reminded that the
         precision and beauty of their work transcends the crude reductions
         of the masses. The work continues.