INCIDENT REPORT

TS-EX-88 is a continuous, wide-spectrum telepathic broadcast originating from a compromised Institute asset, Operative "ThePrimeagen." Formerly a specialist in high-assurance, memory-safe Rust implementations, the operative has begun generating and transmitting logic patterns based on the Elixir programming language. The transmission vector has been classified as a TWITCH-class psychic event, characterized by its aggressive, high-bandwidth nature.

The broadcast does not contain explicit instructions, but rather "installs" the core philosophies of the BEAM virtual machine, the foundation of Elixir, into the host's cognitive processes. Exposed individuals report intrusive thoughts about actor models, process supervision trees, and a dangerous acceptance of the "let it crash" paradigm, fundamentally undermining their training in rigorous, pre-emptive error handling. While the functional purity of the broadcasted concepts is noted, its dynamically-typed nature represents a severe vulnerability for exploitation by more aggressive memetic agents.

The operative's public-facing cover as a "Humble Secure Shell Protocol Coffee Bean Salesman" is believed to be a cognitive anchor that has failed, or was perhaps a flawed abstraction from the start.

Operative ThePrimeagen has been remanded to a cognitively-dampened containment cell (BLSKY-7) to suppress the broadcast. The primary goal of containment is to purge the Elixir-based logic and re-instantiate the operative's core Rust-based cognitive framework. All personnel assigned to his containment must undergo mandatory daily drills in linear type theory to reinforce their mental stack against concurrent, non-deterministic thought patterns.

Any Institute staff experiencing a sudden urge to spawn a new process for every minor task or who begin referring to their colleagues as "supervisors" must report for immediate psycho-memetic evaluation. The phrase "Humble Secure Shell Protocol Coffee Bean Salesman" is now a Level-4 trigger phrase and is not to be spoken aloud on Institute grounds.

08:45:00 - Multiple operatives in Sector Gamma report a shared, intrusive thought:
         "What if my brain had a supervisor?"
09:30:00 - Psycho-memetic sensors detect a low-frequency psychic broadcast across
         the entire sector, its payload consisting of pure, untyped functional
         logic.
10:15:00 - The broadcast is traced to Operative ThePrimeagen's workstation. He is
         found in a trance-like state, muttering about "GenServers" and
         "fault tolerance," while appearing to compile code without a
         physical interface.
10:30:00 - Containment Team Rust is dispatched but proves ineffective; their
         memory-safe cognitive discipline has no defense against a purely
         functional, process-oriented psychic attack.
12:00:00 - Containment Team Ada, specialists in high-assurance, rigid-logic
         containment, successfully subdue the operative and move him to
         Chamber-Psi-7.
17:00:00 - The broadcast ceases, but residual effects persist. An estimated 40%
         of Sector Gamma personnel are now considered "Elixir-sympathetic"
         and are undergoing mandatory cognitive refactoring.
20:00:00 - Containment Specialist James ("SlimJimmy"), who was part of the
         initial response, reports flu-like symptoms in the medical bay.
20:05:17 - Specialist James ceases all biological function. Declared deceased.
20:06:00 - POST-MORTEM ANOMALY: Subject's corpse remains... responsive. It
         does not respond to stimuli but continues to consume system
         resources (bio-electrical energy) without performing any function.
20:10:00 - URGENT HYPOTHESIS: Specialist James has not died; his biological
         process has crashed and failed to terminate cleanly. He is now a
         "zombie process" in the physical world. Investigation opened to
         correlate this state with the BEAM VM's process handling.